I forget my grief.

I forget my grief, when my mother calls me beautiful while I sport a messy bun and home pajamas.

I forget my grief, when my sister hugs me tight as soon as she sees me after a long day.

I forget my grief, when my eyes tear up at all the things my father tells me because he’s concerned, and I know.

I forget my grief, when I hear my grandparents over the phone, after days.

I forget my grief, when a new friend talks to me till 2 AM on my birthday.

I forget my grief, when we lose track as to what the conversation was about.

I forget my grief, when I realize how much this friend means to me.

I forget my grief, when I talk for hours to the people I couldn’t talk to for days.

I forget my grief, when I laugh my heart out on the same old school stories with my best friend.

I forget my grief, when I see a mother ask a street vendor about his recipe.

I forget my grief, when I see a little girl talking to her blind grandpa while crossing the road.

I forget my grief, when I see the smiles on their faces.

I forget my grief, when a boy runs to his father and hugs him because a monkey tried to snatch a bottle from him.

I forget my grief, when I see how easily he transforms into the happiest being in this universe.

I forget my grief, when I see a 4-year-old girl eat ‘panipuri’ and do her little happy dance.

I forget my grief, when I see her mother’s smile as she adds another food item to her doll’s ‘favorite food list.’

I forget my grief, when I see a character in a movie living my insecurities.

I forget my grief, when this character gets a happy ending.

I forget my grief, when this happy ending gives me hope.

I forget my grief, when I realize “Iss Heroine ka Hero ye khud hai.”

This is what grief is. It’ll never vanish from my life. It’s a “Forever” kind of relationship. But I’ll keep forgetting it. Again something will remind me of it, again life will happen around me. And I’ll forget it.

“Aur ye chakra hai jeevan bhar ka.”

 

I had vanished for months. Zyada hi takleef ho gayi thi. It’s time for a comeback. It’s time to forget.

 

Thanks for reading 🙂

-Malvika Mishra

 

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